Monday, June 16, 2014

It’s Nice to $hare

Don’t miss this next big investment opportunity in the sharing economy!

If all you know about the “sharing economy” are the words “sharing” and “economy” then you have no idea what’s going on. As we have learned from the poster children for this new phenomenon, AirBnb and Uber, “sharing economy” really means “enabling amateurs to replace professionals, at a lower cost, by using an app that helps those amateurs and their customers bypass the regulations, laws, protections, unionization, training, licensing, and employment that previously provided living wages to those now-disrupted professionals.”

Most importantly, AirBnb (valuation $10 billion) and Uber (valuation $18 billion), show that the sharing economy is a great way to make a whole lot of money… for those who were are smart enough to have invested in them early.

It’s too late to get in on AirBnb and Uber, but if you invest now with our new BNB ShareFund, you can get in on the ground floor for these next big sharing economy blockbusters:
  • UberRX – Prescriptions, but without the overhead and regulatory “tax” of licensed pharmacologists.
  • FaceLyft – Why give your money to expensive surgeons, when our part-time independent operators can make you “look like a million” for a mere $10/hour? (note, during bikini season prices may fluctuate due to our surgeon surge pricing)
  • AirDnC – Abortions, right in your own home (or the back alley behind your home). Finally, reproductive rights at the right price!
  • InstaCarPart – Need a car part fast? Our app helps local entrepreneurs locate that part for you, fast and cheap, from a similar car right in your own neighborhood.
  • UberLaw – Just because someone has gone to a fancy law school and passed the bar doesn’t make them better than our UberLawyers, who have each correctly filled out our stringent online application.
  • UbertyLove – Young lovers. User-rated. Unregulated by anti-libertarian laws that stifle innovation (such as those prohibiting child-labor and prostitution).
  • FlaskRabbit – Bringing you liquor, any time any place any age.
  • HomeworkJoy – Nerds will do your homework if you promise not to beat them up.
  • AirPort – Don’t pay huge fees to land your plane in a city-owned, city-regulated airport. With this app you can find people with long, low-cost driveways.
  • PosteriorMates – Why wipe your own ass when a desperately poor undocumented worker can be summoned in an instant to wipe it for you. Our app assures you never have to speak with or even look at your wiper. No tipping.
  • UberBnb – Why pay those high dual costs of Uber rides + AirBnb rooms? With UberBnb you can sleep right in our drivers’ cars.
This is only a sampling of the current investments for this fund. New “it’s like the Uber of ___” are being created every day. This investment round is open for only a short time. Call now. Our operators are standing by.

Disclaimer: We can’t guarantee that every one of these ideas will be billion-dollar businesses (our legal advisers made us say that, but, seriously, how can any of these miss, and who knows if these legal advisers even know what they’re talking about, since we just paid them $12 on UberLaw).


  1. This shows the same brand of foresight and universal love of freedom that our red-blooded slave-loving founding-fathers intended for all honest Christian men when they first sealed the borders of the original 49 states plus West Berlin to protect Israel and the Free Enterprise Institute. My name is Capt. (hilarl) Eo and I approve this scheme.

  2. You live in San Francisco, right? Your local paper had a nice column on these services "privileging the privileged class" at the expense of the workers they're displacing. See A tidy libertarian dream

  3. Did you hear that some Uber drivers are trying to unionize (or something like it) in Seattle and LA. This should lead you to add a new app to your portfolio; something that Uber could use to find replacement workers when their "employees" go on strike. Call it UberScab.