Friday, May 17, 2013

Week One on Paleo

I went Paleo exactly one week ago today, because of some health problems (eczema and weight issues). I expect that escaping the unnatural living of the modern age will return my body to its natural healthy balance.

All week I’ve been eating only what grows naturally and what I can hunt (I’m going to miss my neighbor’s dog, Moochi), and drinking only from wild streams.

Of course I’ve been sleeping outside all week, under an overpass (the closest I can get to cave-dwelling), with a terrific cadre of fellow Paleo converts (btw, I’ve noticed that after a long time on Paleo one starts to talk to oneself… I look forward to learning, over time, more about that aspect of Paleo-induced self-introspection).

On the second day of Paleo I jumped into the lion cage at our city zoo to experience the natural state of being hunted. It was exhilarating! The lion managed to scratch only one arm, which bled for a few hours as part of the natural wound-cleaning process (Antibiotics! Hmmph!!).

I’ve lost a lot of weight and thanks to the pain in my arm, which is just kind of hanging there as it naturally detoxifies itself (leaking what looks like a mixture of blood, tiny worms, and cottage cheese), I hardly even notice my eczema anymore.

I’ve never felt more alive.

This will be my last week posting about Paleo because I realize I have to stop using the internet (which wasn’t around in Paleo times). And keyboards. And written language.